* bits from my head *

bottled rage, waiting for release, just unscrew my top and watch mE fizz and overflow - rip through space and shit on the walls, tear down billboards, rip out my hair, piss over society

used to get depressed, everything was depressing, everything felt like shit
don't have that problem much anymore, easier to get angry, so many things are fucked

fucked and out of my hands, man, I have no control, no power, and maybe that's good

the way it should be, little sparks, ignite other sparks, soon you've got critical mass

but it's so fucking slow, like waiting for god or something.
-
my dad hit me once
letting his bored rage and dull frustration merge with my own.
I exploded, like I do when hit... I don't hit back, I just rage

"YOU FUCKER! YOU FUCKING CUNT! HOW DARE YOU... HOW DARE YOU HIT ME? WHAT GIVES YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT? I'M GOING TO SLIT YOUR THROAT WHILE YOU FUCKING SLEEP MAN!"

I wept, cried, hysterical laughing, curled up into a tight ball on the porch, banging my head against the wall. It was cold and uncomfortable and I couldn't stop crying. Eventually I did, crept inside defiantly. My dad was watching some chuck norris flick... He doesn't half watch some shit.
-

I'm waiting for something to happen
I don't care much about people, people = shit
can't handle large groups, too much like the mob with no brain...
Wish I could give them all a fucking clue, shove it down their throats and watch them choke....

-
Don't want to feel, just let me watch
Closed-Circuit reality spoonfed through transmission
"The spectacle of banality is today's true pornography."
I cruxify my eyes on the cathode ray tube every day...
I kneel before the snow, my pupils fat, transfixed on space, miles away, lip sync request for salvation...

Deliver me from boredom
Deliver me into this prozac nation...


got myself a 24HourFeed bag, gonna gorge myself on vacuum.


(c) Adam Cheshire 2002