20 September 2003

Post Literary Masturabation

“Literature must be an analysis of experience and a synthesis
of the findings into a unity”
- Rebecca West

Whilst babbling incessant pseudo-sagelike gibberish I came upon the next step in human evolution.
It was there for the whole world to see, encoded within the depths of our DNA, a road map to the stars, or maybe the inner5pace inside our minds. A revealing insight that I won't be sharing the likes of you, so stop asking. Please, it's getting embarrassing. If I recieve one more email, instant, irc or text message begging me please to reveal this explicable thought I will open fire on you with the full force of my savage wit.

I will instead grace you with the anecdotal story of how I came upon this wonder.

I was lying naked, my third eye open and screetching, staring up into the bleached sky, crawling through cloudy formations, exploring atomic structure and quantum inference. It came to my attension that the electrons of one paticular atom were not spinning in the pseudo-random manner in which they should, but rather dancing around their nucleus in rather uniform pattern. This puzzled me greatly and I took it upon myself to question a paticular electron, in mid waltz, as to what in blazes was going down. The conversion went a little like this.

"Um, hey. can I ask you a question?"

The electron looked at me puzzlingly .
"We're dancing, man. You dig?"

"I can see that your dancing, what I don't get is why."

"Well, isn't it obvious?"

"Not really. Your'll have to excuse my ignorance but I always thought electrons moved around their nuclei in a pseudo-random fashion."

"Ahhh.... I am aware of this theory... fan of quantum mechanics?"

"Um, yeah..."

"Well, the thing is you see, we have been charged with illustrating a point to the universe at large. During the undertaking of which we've been forced to contradict... certain given constants and laws. We see this as a neccersary infringement upon the natural order of things."

"Oh, well, yes. Won't that upset the quantum physicists?"

"Oh... There aren't any about, are there?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"thank buddah, I'd really get it in the neck from the man upstairs if we were caught in the act by such primative sentient beings as them."

"Um, haven't I 'Caught you in the act?'"

"Kinda, but your enlightened, see?"

"Oh. Religious.... sub-atomic particle, are you?"

"It was merely a figure of speech."


It was at this point that the epitomy landed, smack-bang in the middle of my conciousness, and sent me spinning off on a trip that, after many a twist, turn and anti-climax, lead me to my astounding discovery.

But I promised not to tell.

(c) Adam Cheshire 2002

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