l∅ckedinab∅x: This too will come to pass...

04 November 2003

This too will come to pass...

Isn't life interesting? Saves up all its shit so it can drop it on you all at once. After mounting pressure from all sides trying to cave me in Jade takes the time to commit a random act of infidelity and then dump my ass. Least, that's what it seems like. I crack, collapsing in on my self. Now university becomes extra drag, creative differences lead to the fragmentation of my documentary production group, leaving me adrift. Why won't things just go right for a change?

On less of a downer, Jade needs time to get fuckedupcrazy, that's cool. Still hurts though. Helps knowing she's hurting too, feel less alone. Will probably get back together at some point.

Rash of birthdays past month or so. Jennie turned 20. Sion turned 21 this past weekend. Was my 21st September 13th.

blahblahblah...

There's too much in my head to blog, too many things to consider, evaluate, remember.

Day off today. No lectures. Going to see 'Alien: the director's cut' with jennie in the evening, meeting her from work at 4. Went to a chapter moviemaker meeting last night with my cousin gavin who has nurtured a desire to make films from a young age.

Have become involved in a zombie flick project at Uni. I'm going to write and hopefully co-direct. Basically, I'm going to write the skelleton of the story and then develop it with the help of a guy called John Cheung, a fellow student. Not that I've talked to him about it yet, not that it matters. I have to write the fucker before it can be developed.

This blog is on the back burner right now, i'm just too busy. Most days I have lectures all day and although I have net access it's hard to get in the right mood. When I get home my sister is on the computer all night. Posts will be increasingly sparodic. Expect film and film-making type stuff, more random writing, the occassional link rampage.

Here's a link to an article in the observer via diepunyhumans concerning 'The City of The Lost Girls'. A documentary about it by Rodrigo Vazquez is being screened on Channel 4's Unreported World on Friday at 7.30pm.

In other news, I got a B11/C10 for my autobiographical self-portrait. Not that I care about grades, nah.

[qu∅tes]

"one helped oneself out of solitude reluctantly by laying hold of some little odd or end, some sound, some sight." Virginia Woolf, To The Lighthouse

[on cinematography] "After you have done a picture you forget everything you have ever known, so that you become a child again, or an infant or a void into which the new picture creates a whole new evolvement... So that you do not have to keep doing the same thing all over again. In other words you take what yourself back to ground zero. Of course you cannot unlearn what your brain knowns. But I mean it emotionally. I mean you just become scared again, as if you do not know anything... I never felt on top of it. I neverfelt that I knew so much that I could sit back with a cup of coffee and it would all turn out wonderful." - Conrad Hall

[on cinematography] "When the budget is minimal you are forced to look at light as you find it, and to make it look good." - Haskell Wexler

"Rock 'n' roll is like an attitude, it's not a musical form of a strict sort. It's a way of doing things, of approaching things. Like anything can be rock 'n' roll." - Lester Bangs

"The capitalist mind perceives the world purely in terms of material resources to be used for its benefit, to increase productivity and profit without thought of long-term consequences." - Daniel Pinchbec, Breaking Open the Head

"In shamanic cultures, synchronicities are recognised as signs that you are on the right path." - Daniel Pinchbec, Breaking Open the Head (excerpt), Book of Lies

"...reality is up for grabs, so learn the codes through which the narrative is crafted and participate in its unfolding." - Douglas Rushkoff

"Hiroshima and Nagasaki were atomized at a time when the Japanese were suing desperately for peace. The American leaders were acting with almost inconceivable treachery by denying that they had received requests for peace…The bombs were exploded on congested cities filled with civilians. There was not even the slightest military justification, because the military outcome of the war had been decided months earlier." - Dave Dellinger

"We're living in a new Beat time, in my view. And it's very difficult for us to hang on." - Tilda Swinton

"Pursue the small utopias: nature, music, friendship, intimate love." -The Fugs

"We have reconstructed the Tower of Babel, and it is a television antenna: a thousand voices producing a daily parody of democracy, in which everyone's opinion is afforded equal weight regardless of substance or merit." - Ted Koppel

"There are alot of things you have to sacrfice. It all depends on how deep you want to get into whatever your gig is. Whatever you're there for. So like the deeper you get into it the more sacrifices you have to do, maybe even on your personality or your outward this and that. I just dedicate my life to this whole art. You have to forget about what people say. If it's art or anything else, whatever you really, really dig doing, you have to forget about what people say about you sometimes. Forget about this or that-when you're supposed to die or when you're supposed to be living. You have to forget about all these things. You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven. Once you reach that point of where you don't give a damn about what everybody else is saying you're going towards heaven. The more you get into it, they're goin' to say "Damn, that cat's really flipped out. Oh, he's gone now". But if you're producin' and creatin', you know, you're getting closer to your own heaven. That's what man's tryin' to get to, anyway." - James Marshall Hendrix

"With its totalizing claim, the system created the conditions for this horrible retaliation. The immanent mania of globalization generates madness, just as an unstable society produces delinquents and psychopaths. In truth, these are only symptoms of the sickness." - Jean Baudrillard

"If poetry is what you can't translate, as Robert Frost once suggested, then art is what you cannot define. Nevertheless, it's fun to try." - james monaco, 'how to read a film'

"This spectacle of banality is todays true pornography..." - Jean Baudrillard

"...today we live in a society in which spurious realities are manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by religious groups, political groups. We are bombarded with pseudorealities manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated electronic mechanisms." - Philip K. Dick

"There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose ideas, shining in his head, frighted people and for whom delirium is the only solution to the strangulation that life has prepared for him." - Antonin Artaud

"The way to create art is to burn and destroy ordinary concepts and to substitute them with new truths that run down from the top of the head and out from the heart." - Charles Bukowski

"Tea heads are a sociable lot. Too sociable for my liking." - William S. Burroughs

l∅ckedinab∅x

04 November 2003

This too will come to pass...

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