03 January 2005

Reality Bites but I don't mind...

Research reveals harsh reality of life after college

I often find myself having to defend or justify myself to my cousins, whose strict dedication to being the lowest common denominator can get a little grating. The other day I was having to justify going to university to study film and video.

"But most people who leave uni don't even get jobs in the area they studied!" exclaims Ayme, my cousin Chris's girlfriend, "Quentin Tarantino never went to film school!"

Both of these things are true. In fact, I have the upmost respect for film makers who don't go to film school. The DIY ethic is big part of my mind-set.

But I had very specific reasons for going to university.

One, and probably one of the most important reasons, was my unwillingness to work all the time. 'Working' is kind of the anti-thesis of my soul. I hate jobs. I've never had one that hasn't drived me crazy. It could be argued that I don't try hard enough in this area. In fact, it's pretty much the truth. Going to university allowed me to not have to work quite so much. I haven't had a job since sometime nearish the beginning of last year. This has also driven me desire to stay at home and commute.

Secondly, I wanted to go. I wanted the experience and I wanted the opportunity to study a creative subject in depth - I got a hard on for knowledge. I spent a year on the dole after finishing A-levels taking alot of drugs and figuring out exactly what it was I wanted to study. It was either film, english literature, or creative writing, and film won for a number of reasons. It's a very broad subject, taking in both the technical and creative aspects of film making, as well as more academic areas of study. Plus, it's more interesting than English literature and creative writing but takes in aspects of both. Most Film theory is taken from literary study, and there's alot of writing involved in making films if you do it properly. (I.E. None of this "I just want to direct!" bullshit).

I've long ago accepted the dominance of Mcjobs. I know I'm gonna end up working a great deal of them. Good jobs are few and far between but a job doesn't make me happy, being creative does. I'm at my happiest when I'm lost in a world of my own design, with my head in the clouds. I'm already on that whole impoverish bohemian artist trip, you know? It's too late to turn back now and why would I want to? All my 'heroes' have been down this route, there's a lot of romanticism involved, and when all is said and done, once to peel away the cynicism, I'm really quite the romantic. I'm too conditioned by the counter-culture to put that much stock in a career. I'd much rather just have a lifestyle that went a little deeper than the kiddie end of a swimming pool.

Aw, fuck justification. What was my point again? Oh yeah, don't care that much for traditional career paths, that was it.

I'm on a trip, not the fast-track.
I'm cultivating, not accumulating.