21 July 2005

I must be living under a rock or something (well, I was working yesterday, and still have the mud under my fingernails to prove it) because this has just passed me by. Basically, there's a hidden mini-game in GTA:San Andreas where you can have sex with your date. Now, if your like me, your first reaction is "Really? That's cool as fuck!" because for me that's just classic Grand Theft Auto. I remember playing the original on the PC and just being in love with cop slaughter; loading up on rockets and machine gun ammo and just letting the pig fuckers come to me, tapping ctrl with uncontrollable glee, untill I had a large, and ever expanding, circle of dead police men and burnt out cop cars all around me. In GTA 3 you can pick up hookers and have sex with them in back alleys. Better still, afterwards, you could get out of your car, beat them to death and reclaim your money. Now, this was never as fun as an ever-increasing circle of bacon, but kinda amusing nevertheless. The news that rockstar coded the ability to have sex into San Andreas and then hid it, well, that's just awesomeness personified, surely? An amusing reward for the clever and the curious.

the Entertainment Software Rating Board in the USoA don't seem to think so. In fact, they're spazzing out like a speed freak at a slayer gig. The whole thing has become a political hot potato and GTA:SA is being yanked from stores in the states pending something-or-the-other. Geez, what the fuck is wrong with these assholes? When the original GTA was released I don't think there even were classifications for video games, although it did carry a self-inflicted one. Now these PC pricks are acting like it's the end of the civilisation because of a naughty little easter egg. Rockstar are going to pay for their 'transgressions' in ca$h, no doubt. Fuck man, 5 years ago would this even be an issue?

If the thing that has their panties in a twist is kids playing the mini-game then geez. What self-respecting parent would let their 10 year old play a crime simulator anyway?

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