l∅ckedinab∅x: is that a tumbleweed I see?

12 August 2005

is that a tumbleweed I see?

alright guys? Welcome to sparseville, population... fuck knows. I don't really feel the need to justify myself, honest, I just needed a way to start this post and the ol' "sorry about this place being desolation row" routine is always a handy device.

up until a couple of weeks back I've been working on a film, a poem adaptation, based on Soma. It consists of a couple of loose narrative threads that are more visceral than clever or beautiful or even structured. Let's just say that I saw alot of sick and twisted films growing up and they left their mark. It still isn't finished, there are still things left to shoot, and it's all up in the air. The good news (depending on your perspective) is that it will hopefully be going online, and onto a DVD, and the poem will be published in an accompanying book. IF I finish the motherfucker.

Since then I've just been freaking out about moving. I ain't gonna get all psychoanalytical here, but let's just say I had a really shit time the other week and it left me feeling kinda pathetic, self-loathing and self-pitying. Nuff said, k? I've also been without a computer after a viral infection and a hard-drive crashing, and my inability to sort it out may have contributed to forementioned mental state. I've lost all my writing, mp3s and the various other files I've accumulated over the years. I dunno if I'm gonna be able to get them back, but it ain't looking good. I'm just thankful that my porn collection was so small and feeble that that loss didn't contribute to my poor mental health.

Fuck, I lied. That was a little psychoanalytical. Oh well.

Tommorrow I move to Newport. I've packed some stuff, but haven't really been sure what I want to take, what I want to leave here, and what I want to discard. Tommorrow is crunch time. I gotta pack my arse off, as well as do grocery shopping and pick up a DVD player. I'm already arranging a gathering in the evening for alcoholic and cannabis related mischief. It may just be a couple of people, it may turn into a full blown party. Either way I'm gonna be convulsing on cloud 9. This is a big step for me. I'm 22 and have never lived away from the safety of the homestead. I've already started romantisising the abject poverty I'm gonna be living in until my student loan arrives. Having an overactive imagination can be a godsend. On the other hand, it can also picture you being beaten to a pulp by the older brother and crew of the little shithead you beatup for giving you shit WAY before you even meet the fucker. It's a mixed blessing.

The big change that this move will thrust upon my existence is that I'm going to be without an internet connection in my house for the first time in years. This means that posting will become alot more infrequent (no smirking at the back), but that hopefully the articles will be alot longer, as I'm going to have to write them out before I find somewhere to post them from. Expect a number of articles on Newport in all it's shitty post-industrial urban decay. Expect poetry. Expect Vitriol. Expect pseudo-journalism in that classic gonzo/joyride style. Objectivity is dead, baby. Long live subjective reality. MY subjective reality. Damn straight.

I'll see you fuckers on the other side.

( with apologies to Mortimer )

additional:: Tommorrow is now today. Damn, those mornings can sure sneak up you, huh?

[qu∅tes]

"one helped oneself out of solitude reluctantly by laying hold of some little odd or end, some sound, some sight." Virginia Woolf, To The Lighthouse

[on cinematography] "After you have done a picture you forget everything you have ever known, so that you become a child again, or an infant or a void into which the new picture creates a whole new evolvement... So that you do not have to keep doing the same thing all over again. In other words you take what yourself back to ground zero. Of course you cannot unlearn what your brain knowns. But I mean it emotionally. I mean you just become scared again, as if you do not know anything... I never felt on top of it. I neverfelt that I knew so much that I could sit back with a cup of coffee and it would all turn out wonderful." - Conrad Hall

[on cinematography] "When the budget is minimal you are forced to look at light as you find it, and to make it look good." - Haskell Wexler

"Rock 'n' roll is like an attitude, it's not a musical form of a strict sort. It's a way of doing things, of approaching things. Like anything can be rock 'n' roll." - Lester Bangs

"The capitalist mind perceives the world purely in terms of material resources to be used for its benefit, to increase productivity and profit without thought of long-term consequences." - Daniel Pinchbec, Breaking Open the Head

"In shamanic cultures, synchronicities are recognised as signs that you are on the right path." - Daniel Pinchbec, Breaking Open the Head (excerpt), Book of Lies

"...reality is up for grabs, so learn the codes through which the narrative is crafted and participate in its unfolding." - Douglas Rushkoff

"Hiroshima and Nagasaki were atomized at a time when the Japanese were suing desperately for peace. The American leaders were acting with almost inconceivable treachery by denying that they had received requests for peace…The bombs were exploded on congested cities filled with civilians. There was not even the slightest military justification, because the military outcome of the war had been decided months earlier." - Dave Dellinger

"We're living in a new Beat time, in my view. And it's very difficult for us to hang on." - Tilda Swinton

"Pursue the small utopias: nature, music, friendship, intimate love." -The Fugs

"We have reconstructed the Tower of Babel, and it is a television antenna: a thousand voices producing a daily parody of democracy, in which everyone's opinion is afforded equal weight regardless of substance or merit." - Ted Koppel

"There are alot of things you have to sacrfice. It all depends on how deep you want to get into whatever your gig is. Whatever you're there for. So like the deeper you get into it the more sacrifices you have to do, maybe even on your personality or your outward this and that. I just dedicate my life to this whole art. You have to forget about what people say. If it's art or anything else, whatever you really, really dig doing, you have to forget about what people say about you sometimes. Forget about this or that-when you're supposed to die or when you're supposed to be living. You have to forget about all these things. You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven. Once you reach that point of where you don't give a damn about what everybody else is saying you're going towards heaven. The more you get into it, they're goin' to say "Damn, that cat's really flipped out. Oh, he's gone now". But if you're producin' and creatin', you know, you're getting closer to your own heaven. That's what man's tryin' to get to, anyway." - James Marshall Hendrix

"With its totalizing claim, the system created the conditions for this horrible retaliation. The immanent mania of globalization generates madness, just as an unstable society produces delinquents and psychopaths. In truth, these are only symptoms of the sickness." - Jean Baudrillard

"If poetry is what you can't translate, as Robert Frost once suggested, then art is what you cannot define. Nevertheless, it's fun to try." - james monaco, 'how to read a film'

"This spectacle of banality is todays true pornography..." - Jean Baudrillard

"...today we live in a society in which spurious realities are manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by religious groups, political groups. We are bombarded with pseudorealities manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated electronic mechanisms." - Philip K. Dick

"There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose ideas, shining in his head, frighted people and for whom delirium is the only solution to the strangulation that life has prepared for him." - Antonin Artaud

"The way to create art is to burn and destroy ordinary concepts and to substitute them with new truths that run down from the top of the head and out from the heart." - Charles Bukowski

"Tea heads are a sociable lot. Too sociable for my liking." - William S. Burroughs

l∅ckedinab∅x

12 August 2005

is that a tumbleweed I see?

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