19 March 2004

Hack the planet

Let me tell you about my friend Gabriel. I met Gabriel in my IT class in six-form college; a tall softly spoken dude with gothic pretentions, who fit right into my definition of cool, with the twisted sense of humour and the morbid mentality, we got on like a house on fire. He was also a hacker; a good one, discrete, true to the ethic, deeply interested in the inner workings of networks, not some fly-by-night script-kiddie fuck who thinks it's big and clever to fuck up naive computer users machines. Fuck, until 10 years or so ago nobody even knew what a hacker was but after the internet blew-up mainstream the word was on everybody's lips. Anyway, my point being he wasn't an immature prick, he was the real deal. Tripping the machine fantastic, muttering RFCs in his sleep, hacking pedophile servers and tipping off the police, a white hat. Not that I'm saying he never did naughty shit, mind you.

We we're pretty tight for the duration of the course, for which I basically did none of the work because it was relational databases and business shit, not interesting like I thought it would be, and we'd hang out along with our friend James, get milkshakes during breaks, and try to get the network do interesting things. Web access was blocked on the machines we used, but much time was wasted on MUSHes and usenet. Gabriel did his work and got an A. He got into one of the top computer science universities in Britain and when september rolled around off he went. I finished with only one A-level (Film Studies) and decided to repeat a year leaning more towards creative things. We keep in contact over msn messanger and we go out sometimes when he's in Cardiff.

Anyway, he's on work placement right now. Guess where this guy has a placement? GCHQ. After years of hacking into shit for fun he's now getting paid for it, by the government. This guy could be reading your email right now.

Only kidding, your email is boring as fuck.


note: dear GCHQ: The individual in question hasn't actually told me shit about what he's doing with you guys, just like his contract says, so don't fire him, okay? He'll kill me...