death of a cynic

I've come to the realisation that I'm far too cynical for my own good.

I came to this realisation over the weekend, whilst taking pills with some friends-who-happen-to-be-goths (bored of making the distinction now so you shall see it no more). Several of them were ecstasy virgins, and the rest weren't exactly that experienced (Apart from Vicki, but she's hardcore and from Liverpool). They were so into it and enjoying themselves so much it reminded of how I was starting out. Not only that but the comraderie they exhibited was so touching. They loved and cared about each other truely; whether they were high or not. I realised that my growing cynicism (yes, I've actually been getting worse), my loathing and distrust of the human race in general, was holding me back from worthwhile experience so for now on I'm going to try to be a little less cynical. Not too much though, I like and respect my world-view, but just enough.

This is all getting a little too group therapy for my liking...

Saw the latest Zatoichi movie this evening. Was excellent, Takeshi Kitano (whom I hold in high regard as both a director and an actor... although I've yet to see his standup routines) was spot on; adhering to and subverting the franchise just right, and the black humour was suitably dark and funny (quite a few LOL moments usually involving samurai swords and lost limbs).

I'm quite a big fan of Chambara (Japanese swash-buckling genre) but have only ever seen one other Zatoichi film (Zatoichi the outlaw) so it was really cool to go and see one on the big screen. Excellent direction, excellent acting, and excellent effects. My only complaint, which isn't really a complaint because they looked fucking amazing, was the blood. It was done with CGI, and although looked pretty good, better than those in 'Zatoichi the outlaw' where the blood looked kinda orange/pink but not as good as those in Kill Bill, you could still tell they were CGI which detracted a little from my enjoyment. I wonder when CGI will be indistinguishable from 'reality'?

Random Note: I saw a film when I was a kid called Blind Fury that was basically a hollywood rip off of Zatoichi featuring Rutger Hauer. Of course, I've only realised that recently.

There's an exhibit at chapter at the moment called Scarchive which focuses on people's scars and the stories behind them. The artist, Jennie Savage, is asking for volunteers to talk about their scars. Think I might give her a call.