l∅ckedinab∅x: Maggot (part VI)

07 June 2004

Maggot (part VI)

Sid is envious of the dreamers.
Whilst they sit describing impossible spectral paintings he sulks in the corner.
Rooms full of damaged angels sat in circles on the floor, not quite broken yet.
They talk seldom, go around, and sometimes one will begin to tell stories of missions through fields at 3am, fucked and spinning with no direction, sleeping under bushes and waking up damp from precipitation and wondering where they left the campsite.

Hanging in the sky over two wandering figures in motion, pupils fat and words spilling out in all directions, intercepting at odd angles and flowing through each other. Bounced for hours from pub to park to alleyway to flat, stopping occasionally to collapse and hide beneath waves of conversation that do not belong to them.

One of the figures (which happens to be steph) says to the other (who happens to be me) "Why are we here?" but doesn't mean the big philosophical question that some people always seem to ponder but merely why are we here with these people who aren't like us but are like us in small periphery ways when we could be someplace other? Steph never wants to stay still, wants to keep moving always no matter if we're going backwards as long as there is motion. Steph wants to destroy what bores him on sight, always, but I have to stop him sometimes because everything bores him and some of these people are purveyors of substance and you can never have to many of those in my book. This book possibly. Is this my book? Can I lay claim to this as my property? How can I when everything feels so nebulous? Like everything is already there just floating to be plucked and mutated and shaped and shattered and reconfigured? How can anybody make such terminal statements and not want to push their fingers down their throats to stop the words from coming out?

"Dude"
"Huh?"
"What were you thinking about?"
"I'm not sure"
"Let's go"
"Go where?"
"someplace other"
"But where?"
"somewhere not here"
"Could you be more specific?"
"No."

We stand and I bid farewell to the few people here that I feel any kind of connection with and head towards Carthys.

[qu∅tes]

"one helped oneself out of solitude reluctantly by laying hold of some little odd or end, some sound, some sight." Virginia Woolf, To The Lighthouse

[on cinematography] "After you have done a picture you forget everything you have ever known, so that you become a child again, or an infant or a void into which the new picture creates a whole new evolvement... So that you do not have to keep doing the same thing all over again. In other words you take what yourself back to ground zero. Of course you cannot unlearn what your brain knowns. But I mean it emotionally. I mean you just become scared again, as if you do not know anything... I never felt on top of it. I neverfelt that I knew so much that I could sit back with a cup of coffee and it would all turn out wonderful." - Conrad Hall

[on cinematography] "When the budget is minimal you are forced to look at light as you find it, and to make it look good." - Haskell Wexler

"Rock 'n' roll is like an attitude, it's not a musical form of a strict sort. It's a way of doing things, of approaching things. Like anything can be rock 'n' roll." - Lester Bangs

"The capitalist mind perceives the world purely in terms of material resources to be used for its benefit, to increase productivity and profit without thought of long-term consequences." - Daniel Pinchbec, Breaking Open the Head

"In shamanic cultures, synchronicities are recognised as signs that you are on the right path." - Daniel Pinchbec, Breaking Open the Head (excerpt), Book of Lies

"...reality is up for grabs, so learn the codes through which the narrative is crafted and participate in its unfolding." - Douglas Rushkoff

"Hiroshima and Nagasaki were atomized at a time when the Japanese were suing desperately for peace. The American leaders were acting with almost inconceivable treachery by denying that they had received requests for peace…The bombs were exploded on congested cities filled with civilians. There was not even the slightest military justification, because the military outcome of the war had been decided months earlier." - Dave Dellinger

"We're living in a new Beat time, in my view. And it's very difficult for us to hang on." - Tilda Swinton

"Pursue the small utopias: nature, music, friendship, intimate love." -The Fugs

"We have reconstructed the Tower of Babel, and it is a television antenna: a thousand voices producing a daily parody of democracy, in which everyone's opinion is afforded equal weight regardless of substance or merit." - Ted Koppel

"There are alot of things you have to sacrfice. It all depends on how deep you want to get into whatever your gig is. Whatever you're there for. So like the deeper you get into it the more sacrifices you have to do, maybe even on your personality or your outward this and that. I just dedicate my life to this whole art. You have to forget about what people say. If it's art or anything else, whatever you really, really dig doing, you have to forget about what people say about you sometimes. Forget about this or that-when you're supposed to die or when you're supposed to be living. You have to forget about all these things. You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven. Once you reach that point of where you don't give a damn about what everybody else is saying you're going towards heaven. The more you get into it, they're goin' to say "Damn, that cat's really flipped out. Oh, he's gone now". But if you're producin' and creatin', you know, you're getting closer to your own heaven. That's what man's tryin' to get to, anyway." - James Marshall Hendrix

"With its totalizing claim, the system created the conditions for this horrible retaliation. The immanent mania of globalization generates madness, just as an unstable society produces delinquents and psychopaths. In truth, these are only symptoms of the sickness." - Jean Baudrillard

"If poetry is what you can't translate, as Robert Frost once suggested, then art is what you cannot define. Nevertheless, it's fun to try." - james monaco, 'how to read a film'

"This spectacle of banality is todays true pornography..." - Jean Baudrillard

"...today we live in a society in which spurious realities are manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by religious groups, political groups. We are bombarded with pseudorealities manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated electronic mechanisms." - Philip K. Dick

"There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose ideas, shining in his head, frighted people and for whom delirium is the only solution to the strangulation that life has prepared for him." - Antonin Artaud

"The way to create art is to burn and destroy ordinary concepts and to substitute them with new truths that run down from the top of the head and out from the heart." - Charles Bukowski

"Tea heads are a sociable lot. Too sociable for my liking." - William S. Burroughs

l∅ckedinab∅x

07 June 2004

Maggot (part VI)

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