l∅ckedinab∅x: convolutions of a comedown casualty

25 January 2004

convolutions of a comedown casualty

This post has been censored to protect the innoce... Aw, who am I kidding, there are no innocents involved here. This post has been censored so I don't get my ass kicked.

meep.

Soooo.... I was supposed to go to this party friday night but wasn't in a great mental space in fact freaking out over Jennie leaving the country so instead met up with ( censored ) when he finished his rewarding job trying to make Old Age Pensioners buy double glazing. Payed ( censored ) a visit in wurk, explained to her I was okay, just a little freakout, is all cool, then went over ( censored ) and took lots and lots of ( censored ). Originally, I had those four Jelly babies, so we were munching those, but then our friend and social worker ( censored ) turned up and ( censored ) persuaded ( censored ) to buy some strawberry bon-bons ( censored ) cuz they wuz gonna ( rilly rilly censored ).

Oops.

( censored ) brought 10 bon-bons, there is one left. As ( censored ) is completely stone broke, and because, you know, I'm a nice person, I'm gonna have to pay for those strawberry bon-bons. The thing is, I'm trying to be all organised and bugeting with my money and I think the total tally of bon-bon expenditure for this week is £50 which comes to like 17 bon-bons (they're really good bon-bons!!!). Why does my life feel like a ( censored ) soap opera sometimes?

Oh well....

If you haven't noticed the general disjointedness of my writing (Although, I prefer to look at it as 'fluid' and 'grammar-breaking' - hey, we all need our delusions) then you should know I'm kinda in the post-comedown surreality stage of ecstasy. I don't know if this observation is true or not but it seems to me that, the day after the initial comedown, your brain enters this stage of lucid surrealness, a kind of peace. I am full of beans. Started planning an event (in my head) called 'kill the DJ' which will be a mixture of performance, open mike, short film screenings and 'eclectic' DJ sets. Now, when I say eclectic I don't mean 'weird for weirds sake' like some nights I've been to ('bridging the gap' at clwb ifor bach (the clubs homepage seems to be down at the moment so I've linked to an article on 'cool cymru'... wherever the fuck that is) springs to mind... not to be confused with 'the dude abides' which goes on there on fridays and is actually rilly good) I mean eclectic as in 'wide ranging' but ultimately good music. I listen to a wide range of music, am as perfectly happy listening to Jurrasic 5 as I am listening to System of a Down or Merzbow, and I reckon the whole DJ thing would be good for my creative growth.

If yr wondering how Matt is doing, as he seldoms updates his website or blog, last thing I heard he was promoting the fuck out of his poetry up in manchester and might be pressing a split-EP with two first year criminology students.

Believe it or not this post does have a point, and that is to link to this attempt to define the whole 'alterna-porn' thing. I think Furry Girl does a pritty good job.

Okay, that's it, I'm off to go eat something... or something.

[qu∅tes]

"one helped oneself out of solitude reluctantly by laying hold of some little odd or end, some sound, some sight." Virginia Woolf, To The Lighthouse

[on cinematography] "After you have done a picture you forget everything you have ever known, so that you become a child again, or an infant or a void into which the new picture creates a whole new evolvement... So that you do not have to keep doing the same thing all over again. In other words you take what yourself back to ground zero. Of course you cannot unlearn what your brain knowns. But I mean it emotionally. I mean you just become scared again, as if you do not know anything... I never felt on top of it. I neverfelt that I knew so much that I could sit back with a cup of coffee and it would all turn out wonderful." - Conrad Hall

[on cinematography] "When the budget is minimal you are forced to look at light as you find it, and to make it look good." - Haskell Wexler

"Rock 'n' roll is like an attitude, it's not a musical form of a strict sort. It's a way of doing things, of approaching things. Like anything can be rock 'n' roll." - Lester Bangs

"The capitalist mind perceives the world purely in terms of material resources to be used for its benefit, to increase productivity and profit without thought of long-term consequences." - Daniel Pinchbec, Breaking Open the Head

"In shamanic cultures, synchronicities are recognised as signs that you are on the right path." - Daniel Pinchbec, Breaking Open the Head (excerpt), Book of Lies

"...reality is up for grabs, so learn the codes through which the narrative is crafted and participate in its unfolding." - Douglas Rushkoff

"Hiroshima and Nagasaki were atomized at a time when the Japanese were suing desperately for peace. The American leaders were acting with almost inconceivable treachery by denying that they had received requests for peace…The bombs were exploded on congested cities filled with civilians. There was not even the slightest military justification, because the military outcome of the war had been decided months earlier." - Dave Dellinger

"We're living in a new Beat time, in my view. And it's very difficult for us to hang on." - Tilda Swinton

"Pursue the small utopias: nature, music, friendship, intimate love." -The Fugs

"We have reconstructed the Tower of Babel, and it is a television antenna: a thousand voices producing a daily parody of democracy, in which everyone's opinion is afforded equal weight regardless of substance or merit." - Ted Koppel

"There are alot of things you have to sacrfice. It all depends on how deep you want to get into whatever your gig is. Whatever you're there for. So like the deeper you get into it the more sacrifices you have to do, maybe even on your personality or your outward this and that. I just dedicate my life to this whole art. You have to forget about what people say. If it's art or anything else, whatever you really, really dig doing, you have to forget about what people say about you sometimes. Forget about this or that-when you're supposed to die or when you're supposed to be living. You have to forget about all these things. You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven. Once you reach that point of where you don't give a damn about what everybody else is saying you're going towards heaven. The more you get into it, they're goin' to say "Damn, that cat's really flipped out. Oh, he's gone now". But if you're producin' and creatin', you know, you're getting closer to your own heaven. That's what man's tryin' to get to, anyway." - James Marshall Hendrix

"With its totalizing claim, the system created the conditions for this horrible retaliation. The immanent mania of globalization generates madness, just as an unstable society produces delinquents and psychopaths. In truth, these are only symptoms of the sickness." - Jean Baudrillard

"If poetry is what you can't translate, as Robert Frost once suggested, then art is what you cannot define. Nevertheless, it's fun to try." - james monaco, 'how to read a film'

"This spectacle of banality is todays true pornography..." - Jean Baudrillard

"...today we live in a society in which spurious realities are manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by religious groups, political groups. We are bombarded with pseudorealities manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated electronic mechanisms." - Philip K. Dick

"There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose ideas, shining in his head, frighted people and for whom delirium is the only solution to the strangulation that life has prepared for him." - Antonin Artaud

"The way to create art is to burn and destroy ordinary concepts and to substitute them with new truths that run down from the top of the head and out from the heart." - Charles Bukowski

"Tea heads are a sociable lot. Too sociable for my liking." - William S. Burroughs

l∅ckedinab∅x

25 January 2004

convolutions of a comedown casualty

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